Category: Dating and Relationships
Hey i was just wondering if there were any girls that were in to being dominant that maybe we could talk either on here or maybe email.
I am dominant with males, what do you wanna know?
Oh never mind. He came already, just reading your post. >:)
lol
Laughing.
He just keeps on trying. Why not join a club somewhere else and stop wasting time on this site?
True, but I didn't know anyone kept track? Maybe I'll post him some links.
Smile.
If he'd answer a few questions, that help.
Does the girl need to be blind?
I don't know what's worse.
dating topics or tech
*sighs and goes to play blackjack*
Losing on Blackjack.
Laughing.
I am actually not bad at blackjack
well, mostly
laughing
Right. But are you in to domination?
Being good, or sorta at playing Blackjack just won't do here.
Smile.
Is into domination, amazing that some guys, very certain ones, if y'all catch
my drift always each and every time fucks posts up for others. when stuff like
this comes up, bad self-image perhaps, so they take it out on others? Lets get
it back on track, girls, Domination, what do you wanna know, note am asking
the starter of the debate.
Sandi, I don't think he's asking for advice so much as a participant.
sandi, chances are that this is the first time you're seeing it. Most of us have seen it for years, same person, same vague questions, so of course, same results.
Yeah, but if he'd just say
"I want a blind girl, or it doesn't matter can someone lead me to websites or something?"
Now we can find him that girl.
Sandi is one of them.
Smile.
4x4 i am one of them, very much so, i do however adore the gender that can
mimic the sound of my turbocharger in the 182t, if you catch my drift, that is
of course under, pressure.
I can almost garenty you what would happened if i touch this male, he would
tell me i gone too far, that he did not adore half the things he said he was
into, no thanks , been there done, it, not worth it.
I thought he was seeking advice, not pussy, advice I'm open for , pussy?a
north korean airport might be easier coming into in a 152.
Sandi, when he first started posting stuff like this years ago, people did actually give him genuine advice, or responses. Like Anthony said, we've seen these same posts from this same guy, he starts a topic and then abandons it. So now people have gone from taking him seriously as they once might have to it becoming a source of humor.
Smile.
that is a shame, you can do so many things to the naked female form, tied
down, head back , down, mouth , forced open, softly, all within agreement
with her .
Have you tried contacting him Sandy, or is that private?
I mean, he does post his needs often, so I'm interested if he's had any takers?
I guess what I really want to know, is he serious?
4x4, he haven't, i do believe I'm happily taken, so even if he did , it would not
get him far.
Got a Pm however this morning from one telling me it was a shame that i was
so rough on my males, i always find it interesting that people tell me what i
am into and what not:) maybe that is one of the reasons i don't use much
time cybering on the zone, not worth it. If you are submissive , give in to it ,
with all you are, Top me from the button, will get you absolutely nowhere. I
will make very sure of it , and make sure that I enjoy your struggles,
so it is not like i don't get PMs, not from him though.
Maybe we should make a workshop with Submissives as a topic over Skype,
have to toss that one around a little.
I honestly don't know much about this subject so please excuse my ignorance, but is it true that it doesn't always have to be sexual and between partners?
Yes. Some people just like to be abused.
Much like a feeling or for the mental release or whatever.
Others like to do the abusing for the same reason.
Most times it leads to some sort of sexual high, or is to motivate it, but not always.
In Washington DC, it was reported that many high powered men pay to be degraded.
Rachel, the other thing is, domination doesn't always have to equal hard-core stuff. I think that's what this board may be talking about, but there is also a concept often called soft dominance, or sensual dominance, that doesn't involve pain, or other hard play. And no, it doesn't always have to be done between partners. I have quite a few female friends who are in the lifestyle, and have talked about it with me quite freely. Some have play partners who are separate from their romantic partners. Or play partners, but no actual romantic partner at all. Even established couples will take the dynamic into other areas of their relationship besides the bedroom, or, in some cases, in most of the relationship with the exception of the bedroom, though I think that last one is probably the least common. In short, it can be whatever you make it. It doesn't have to be abuse/humiliation.
I've been made to understand some people feel safe or have a sense of safety if a partner, romantic or otherwise, simply tells them what to do.
They don't want any control at all, even to ordering something to eat when out for dinner or something.
This subject can get really involved.
They don't need to have this happening all the time, but get some sort of pleasure from the experience.
This, is , amusing, 4x4, keep it coming.
Not to me.
I'm not interested sexually, or otherwise in any type of this stuff.
Laughing.
Not me either, i mean i am interested, but i want Real life, you know? smile.
Sandy, I thought you were into it, so you were the personaly I thought of to answer my questions mainly. Lol
Thanks wayne and Alecia. Yes, I was confused because at first I thought it was purely sexual and then I find from a couple of former friends that it doesn't have to be.
I'm not into it for the most part, but due to my lack of sexual experience in my life, I feel I need to be sorta guided into what to do in the bedroom.
Sorry about the TMI! Lol
That'd not domination, that's guiding.
Love in my book as well because the person guiding cares about your experience.
Domination is different.
Think about it this way.
You hate fruit, but your dom partner makes you eat some, and you do, because you are demanded to, not because you like it.
You do it to please, not because you enjoy it.
Some folks are turned on sexually, or mentally by being done this way.
Guiding is not domination, because the person is making a suggestion, and you have the choice to try it or not.
4x4, Dominance, is guiding too, stop messing stuff up more than it already is.
The dominant, have the responsibility over usually not always submissive part,
4x4 wants to call it differently, but it is the same thing, does it mean he is
dominant? of course not.
Does it mean it is a form of play, of course, anyone who says different, have to
make a little reality check. sure you have persons who really want to be “forced”
but they are really rare.
I sometimes wonder about that.
My reasons are these.
Some women stay in relationships that are totally abusive. Mentally, or physicfally.
When you take them out of it, they get mad at you and seek ways to get back in to it.
Secondly, the abusive person continues to do it person after person.
I do know it is mainly play, but I know some people that are in to it to such an extreme, it is not just a lifestyle, but a way of life, if I make sense?
It is like a craving on both sides.
That is what makes me wonder.
4x4, it sounds like what you call it your self, abusiveness, nothing to do with
Bdsm, maybe in the States, who knows? wait i know that , actually , nope, not
computing, of course you have girls , or guys who is deeply submissive, who
needs more help, guidance than others,
to answer some questions know the person doesn't have to be blind if there any other questions just ask
sorry just getting caought on some of the posts on this board. so if i reply to something late my sincerest apoligies as far as what i'm looking for i'm not looking for a dom outside of the bedroom and a little pain might be cool but nothing over the top. I've done the hole geting dominated over the phone. would kind of like to find someone to do that with more. I met somebody on a chat system we've don the hole domthing over the phone and its great but this person works a lot and we don't get a lot of talk time. sorry if this kind was long
Cool, now you put your needs and wishes up.
Hopefully you can find one.
You have lots of dating sites that cater to exactly what you want, have you tried any?
Just clarifying a couple of things here:
A healthy dominant/submissive dynamic is not abusive.
If you really look at it, the sub has all the power, because the sub can say "stop" and the dom will listen. I mean, the word might not be "stop" - safe words are a very good idea in case things get too intense - but yeah. Thing is, the dom is trusting the sub to only seize control back if they absolutely must; else, the dynamic breaks down.
This is a continuum. Some people are more or less dominant than others, or submissive for that matter.
For instance (not going to get into details here), but I'm dominant, but not too dominant. I still struggle with being in total control because I'm always worrying about going too far/saying or doing something ridiculous and breaking the moment. It's taken me awhile, I'm finally breaking that barrier down a bit. But this doesn't mean I want or need a girl who's absolutely submissive; I like submission in its proper place and time, but I don't require it in order to have fun, and don't require it all the time. I'm just not apt to go full submissive either. Heh.
But not everyone's this way. Some people want to be in control to the extent that you absolutely require safe words in order to get the dom to stop. Some people want to be dominated so thoroughly that they have no choices except the hard-wired one to stop using said safe words. Some people only want gentle domination (commands and general leading), others want to be restrained, struck, even hurt. I couldn't imagine actively hurting a woman even if she wanted it, that would give me no pleasure at all...but restraining her, pulling her hair a little, being aggressive without actually harming her? Sure, that'd work, depending on the circumstances.
I'm saying all of this in order to hopefully clear up some miscommunication I'm witnessing, and to suggest to the topic creator that this is a really deep subject. A prospective partner would need to know what sort of dynamic you were after, and just tossing out that you're into it probably isn't an enlightening start.
I'm referring to the mental aspects of it.
I'm not speaking of the play, or sexual play, but the mental side.
Some people need to actually abuse, and I'm not speaking for play.
Some people seem to want to be abused, and they seek it out.
It can start as play, but become serious.
That is what I wonder about.
I do agree, in the play, or sexual place, it is not abuse because it is controlled.
But, it happens that it gets out of control, then what do you call this?
It is just a muse, or presenting a different side I sometimes wonder about.
The d/s thing is definitely more gray if you will than just some dungeon.
So if someone just fully gets a lot out of doing things for the other partner, bringing them food, doing foot rubs and other things, and there's no kind of humiliation involved, I'be been told that person is probably a sub ... if what they want is to make the other hapy, that making the other happy is already by itself a means and an end. I don't know.
I could not personally be humiliated or other things that are like real abuse many of us took as kids. But what I mentioned earlier, I'm totally into that stuff.
I think shades of the d/s thingkind of reach out into ther aspects of society, this is what I was recently told anyway. It isn't as clear as "those people over there," or any of that. I don't really know, I just roll with it.
yes i would agree some aspects about the hole domsub thing are interesting